Book Description 

A trans pianist makes a New Year’s resolution on a frozen Wisconsin night to win regionals and win back his ex, but a new boy complicates things in Edward Underhill’s heartfelt debut YA rom-dram, Always the Almost.

Sixteen-year-old trans boy Miles Jacobson has two New Year’s resolutions: 1) win back his ex-boyfriend (and star of the football team) Shane McIntyre, and 2) finally beat his slimy arch-nemesis at the Midwest’s biggest classical piano competition. But that’s not going to be so easy. For one thing, Shane broke up with Miles two weeks after Miles came out as trans, and now Shane’s stubbornly ignoring him, even when they literally bump into each other. Plus, Miles’ new, slightly terrifying piano teacher keeps telling him that he’s playing like he “doesn’t know who he is”—whatever that means.

Then Miles meets the new boy in town, Eric Mendez, a proudly queer cartoonist from Seattle who asks his pronouns, cares about art as much as he does—and makes his stomach flutter. Not what he needs to be focusing on right now. But after Eric and Miles pretend to date so they can score an invite to a couples-only Valentine’s party, the ruse turns real with a kiss, which is also definitely not in the plan. If only Miles could figure out why Eric likes him so much. After all, it’s not like he’s cool or confident or comfortable in his own skin. He’s not even good enough at piano to get his fellow competitors to respect him, especially now, as Miles. Nothing’s ever been as easy for him as for other people—other boys. He’s only ever been almost enough.

So why, when he’s with Eric, does it feel like the only person he’s ever really not been enough for…is himself?

My Review 

This was such a heartwarming and tender book. As the story begins, Miles is experiencing a lot of change: he’s recently out as trans, he’s broken up with his boyfriend because of that, and he also has a new piano teacher– not because he’s trans, but because his former teacher says that she has nothing more to teach him. 

With everything going on, plus the big it’s definitely not a good time for a new relationship, but here comes Eric, who has recently moved to town. This might sound like a cliche, but Eric isn’t like the other kids; he moved from Seattle, and he’s a lot savvier about queer issues than the average Midwestern teen. 

Miles has spent most of his life feeling like he’s not enough. Clearly, much of this is due to not living as his authentic self for the first sixteen years of his life, but this mindset isn’t limited to gender identity; he feels the same way about his piano career and his personal relationships. Add in the general turmoil of being a teen and navigating high school, and there is a lot going on. 

Obviously it would be a terrible message for a romantic partner to come along and fix everything, so of course that isn’t what happens here. But Eric is good for Miles. He’s one of the first people to know Miles as Miles, without the disclaimer of “before”. As the book description mentions, he asks Miles for his pronouns upon meeting him, and he continues to be conscientious in all of his interactions. 

I would absolutely recommend Always the Almost. This was an excellent debut and even though I’m not the target audience, I thoroughly enjoyed my reading experience. I will be looking out for more books by Underhill in the future– his writing is engaging and it’s so easy to get lost in his prose. 

I received a digital ARC of this book from St. Martin’s/NetGalley